Just had to write this… (pretty touchy/emotional/sappy)

Hi all
I just wanted to come here with some pretty touchy stuff that has happened in my life.
I’M NOT LEAVING THE SERVER (yet), JUST TO LET YOU KNOW IN ADVANCE
____________________

My mum and dad split up when I was about 2 years old, and never really knew my dad for most my life (I still don’t, as he deleted/blocked me from Facebook a few months ago, which was my only line of contact with him).
I was constantly mocked/hazed/bullied throughout primary school.
I never really had any friends during primary school or secondary school.

^ These 3 things have led to me suffering from depression.

The fact that I barely know my dad doesn’t hurt me when it’s Fathers Day…

The first friend I ever had, Rodney Jones… I had to leave him because of family issues and because of the area I lived in…
I’ve been told by my friend Nicole (Met her through my TAFE courses) that he still lives in that area, I can easily get their by bus/train, and have the money on my card, but I’m honestly worried to go down there.

I’m a pessimist, which (for those who don’t know) pretty much means I always look on the bad side of life.

The girl I’ve loved for the past year or so left me for another guy recently, which has been screwing with my head so much, I can barely think straight

As well as Depression and Paranoia, I ‘suffer’ from Anxiety, Bipolar Disorder, and heart issues.

I’ve been with EternalCracked for about a year and 8 months, and the time I’ve spent playing mini games and events/talking with you guys/building stuff (such as my 3 shops (Currently settled in Heh, XP, Woodbury)) and whatever else I’ve done, this has been the most fun I’ve had in a really long time.
EternalCracked has provided me with so much joy and happiness, drama, sadness, and a lot of other emotions.

I’ve made some pretty good friends here, some have left the server, yet most have stayed.
Some that have left, whether it be due to them being banned or not (What I remember of their names):
reigorcacca
MattMaster105
genius
xxgerorexxx

Lately, the people I find to be my closest friends I’ve had (both real life AND from EternalCracked) are:
My friend’s Claire and Sarah
GrassFae
DarkDeltaDoesMC

Some of the people that have caused me pain/issues are:
The girl I loved, Lucy…
The guy who she left me for, Matthew (dragonz12345)

Most the ‘friends’ I had made at school have abandoned me.

I pretty much had to drop out of school, due to risk of failing (Failed year/grade 11, had to repeat, then was at risk of failing year/grade 11 again…)
^ From dropping out of school, I went to TAFE courses (Retail/Business), and gained certificates, which are the equivalent to having finished year 12 (As I’ve been told).

About halfway through doing my TAFE courses (Overall my TAFE courses took about 3 months), I found out my cousin went there too, and since then we’ve been in touch quite a bit, so that’s another good thing about dropping out of school.

I neglect people’s attention quite often, push them away, and tend to hurt them.
The best/most relatable conversations I’ve had have been with DarkDeltaDoesMC and my friend Claire.

Thanks for reading, and please don’t reply with ‘sorry to hear’ or ANYTHING like that…

P.S I can see why people write about their days in a journal/diary OR write about their negative feelings in a strongly worded letter/email that never gets sent… writing this kinda relieved me and took my mind off stuff (CRAP I JINXED MYSELF ;-; )

P.P.S I tried spacing these, to avoid it being one massive cluster of writing…